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A Word From Reverend Benjamin #31: On Near Death Experiences
Holla Flock! Your dearly beloved reverend nearly went to see Beyoncé at the Pearly Gates the other day. I can hear your horrified gasps from here. Well ought you catch your breath in fright — I’ve not...
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CAIRO: Leave Me Alone!
There is a psychological disorder known as “Paris Syndrome.” It usually effects Japanese visitors to Paris who are so disappointed by the reality of Paris that it shatters all of their preconceived...
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Why Don’t You? #66
Monday: Why don’t you write Lady Gaga a congratulatory letter for her performance at the Academy Awards? I’m still shaken by how good it was. When you’ve finished that, you can write me a thank-you...
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Why Don’t You? #68
Monday: Why don’t you look into buying an acre or so of Saharan desert so that you can build yourself a pyramid for your final resting place? You may not have a fascination with ancient Egypt the way I...
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Why Don’t You? #87
Monday: Why don’t you put wallpaper on the backs of your stairs? It’d be ever so elegant to have a bold pattern or a mural climbing your stairwell. Staircases can be terribly boring, so add some...
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Why Don’t You? #102
Monday: Why don’t you invent some kind of device to immediately remove the lint from black pants? Lint rollers exist, but I don’t think they always work very well. I roll them all over my pantaloons,...
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